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My new blog...

www.alongsidethesavior.blogspot.com

Hi!

Just wanted to say that I am alive... just not posting blog entries recently...

Blessings vs. Grace

I was thinking about how some people have everything while others have very little. I thought, "Why is there more grace for some than others?" I believe the answer is not that one has been given more grace, just more blessings.

Say there is someone who was raised by a great family, has lots of money, lives in a nice neighborhood, has great relationships and works in a great environment. Another person has very little materialistically speaking but is very content to commune with God with very few material goods. BOTH are happy...

One has many blessings while the other has been given grace to appreciate what they have. I think it comes down to relationship with God. If you are humbling yourself before God, you are receiving grace to relate to God. You are positioning yourself to receive GRACE not just stuff! You are being freed to focus on God and to know Him.

So, to summarize: a blessing is something material, or tangible or rewarding emotionally while grace is God's giving us eyes to see Him as bigger and greater.

Comfort? Or God's Glory?

I started my job last August. I remember praying that God would make His glory more important to me than my own comfort. What a dangerous prayer! (I would not recommend it for pregant mothers or those with with a heart condition. :-) )

This past year at my job has been such a challenge for me. I don't believe I am using any of my strengths or gifts and I just totally lack any interest in financial matters. Accounts Payable is not the place for me!

As I was praying today, this verse came to mind: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 YES!

It hit me. Here I am praying for God's glory to be my concern and I suddenly realized that this past year has been a lesson in learning that, apart from Jesus, God's glory will NEVER be my first concern!

I think the process of switching my focus from my comfort to God's glory is a slow one that will not be learned from one season of life. I think the main thing that God has shown me is that in order to do anything, want anything, know anything that is worth anything, I need a Savior to intercede and filter my thoughts and actions.

I need a Savior for forgiveness. BUT! The reason I need forgiveness is not for the sake of merely feeling good and knowing I'm clean. The point is to clear my vision so that I would be freed from distraction (sin) and be able to see God for who He is; BIG... BEAUTIFUL... SOVEREIGN! That way, no matter how big the challenge, my eyes are not on me but on Him. And, THEN I will be able to have a relationship with Him. AND THEN, His glory will be my concern, not my comfort!

Jesus, I need You so much! I need You to help me lift my chin and open my eyes to gaze at the Father. Apart from You, I am blind and headed down the wrong path. I desire Your glory, Lord, but certainly not all the time and definitely not perfectly... that's why I need You, Jesus. I fall short. Would you please give me grace and intercede on my behalf? I'm desperate for you! Thank you for winning the battle and allowing me to glean from your finished work on the cross.

Growth Markers

You know... it's cool how God does this... I've been zero-ing in on the sin of fear-of-man (fearing other's opinions more than fearing God) and have really been being stretched in this area. It seems I have to ask for help with each thought because it's such a struggle for me. Even my daydreams tend to foster fear-of-man if I give in. We are to take every thought captive and it seems some days that I am asking for forgiveness at least every 5 seconds! What a beautiful Savior we have... one who is big enough to forgive by the second... and then some!

But, pride seems to be the root of everything, so as I take off pride and put on love it seems I am not only overcoming fear-of-man, but I've also noticed my reaction to life is less self-righteous. As I cooperate with the Holy Spirit in the batttle against fear-of-man, I find that the pride that is stripped away in that area also makes a dent in other areas. As we fight the root, we grow different fruit! Here's an example:

I went to a dinner with my grandparents at their church a few weeks ago. There was a woman who ate with us and we talked for a while. She had been married for 35 years and then was divorced. At one point, she said she went to her son's wedding. She had to be around her in-laws, at times, and she said, "...it was humbling... [She] was so uncomfortable... [She] wanted to die..."

Now, I've never been married, let alone divorced. But God, in His perfect timing, allowed me to walk through a trial... a down period. I dreaded to go to work everyday, I cried often and threw temper tantrems. My poor mom got the short end of the stick... she had to deal with me. I felt terrified of life, incompetent in my job, angry and ready to give up all together. (This isn't that rare for me. I go through cycles like this.)

Let's get back to the story... So, this woman is talking and says she was uncomfortable and wanted to die at this wedding. If I had heard this woman's story a couple years ago it would have went in one ear and out the other. I would have had no compassion for her. My self-righteous heart would have said, "Your fault, lady. You shouldn't have gotten yourself into this mess. Tough luck. Get over it. "

BUT NOT THIS TIME! :-) I heard her heart's cry and I had such empathy! I don't know the pain of divorce, but I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable and want to die. Suddenly her words were not just words. They had meaning to me. I understood her pain. We had a connection that would not have been there had I not just walked through my trial. What joy I had in this conversation!

Isn't it beautiful how God uses all things for our good? Here we both were with such pain behind us and through it I felt joy. He used my pain to soften my heart and I was able to have compassion for a woman who once would have looked like a criminal to me. The ugliness in her decision to divorce no longer had power to make her feel guilty nor to give me justifcation to judge her. Where self-righteousness would have once brought separation between us, there was now compassion in our connection of pain. I now saw a woman who walked through a trial... a woman who could very well be me in the future. What grace God has given! My eyes that were once blind were now unveiled to see the beautiful creature He had created; a woman who was not ugly, but redeemed by a beautiful Savior... and THAT is beauty!

Jesus, I love you. I am only able to have compassion because you set the example and make me able to know my Heavenly Father. That's the relationship you have bought for me. How can I ever repay you? THANK YOU!

To God Be The Glory

We are made to bring God glory. Period. I wish this were my main focus. Unfortunately, my comfort is much more important to me. When God's glory is our purpose and drive, all else fades away and major set backs seem minor and even insignificant. When it comes down to it, what else matters? Why do I care so much about other's opinions or my own reputation? God promises to use all things for my good and somehow my good and His glory are very closely linked. If it's good for me, it brings Him glory. If it brings Him glory, it's good for me! How cool is that? So, if all things work together for the good of those who love Him, then all things are working for His glory! This is cause for celebration!

Each day, good or bad, is an opportunity to bring Him glory. Good days point to His goodness, kindness, gentleness, grace, and mercy. On the bad days - well, they aren't really bad, we are just distracted from Him - we run to Him and experience the Healer in our pain, the Comforter in our discomfort, and the Rock in our instability. What a mighty God we serve.

What does it mean to give God glory? To make Him look good. And, really, when you think about it... how hard is it to make God look good?! He IS good! It's His very nature. He's beautiful! All we have to do to bring Him glory is point out the good things that He does, which in turn point to His character and that brings Him glory!

Blessed be the name when the sun's shining down on me... when the world's all as it should be... Blessed be the name.

Blessed be the name on the road marked with suffering... when there's pain in the offering... Blessed be the name.

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise... BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!

My Grandparents

I am spending the evening at my grandparents tonight. I am 25 years old and still have sleepovers at their house! Is that weird? I don't really care. They are probably the coolest old people I know ("old people" probably isn't the PC term these days but at 80 and 81, let's face it, they're old). And isn't it so nice of God to make them MY family?!

I have to share the cutest story about my grandparents. You see, when my grandparents got married, my grandma didn't know how to do too much when it came to cooking and housework. She would often burn meals, making them not edible. A lot of guys would probably be impatient about this and complain, but not my pap. He's the cutest Pap there ever was! He would just say, "Well, let's get out the soup and sandwiches!" Isn't that so sweet? He's just like that... sort of takes things as they come, easy going, great sense of humor. Just an all around likeable guy. I just love that story because it gives me hope since I don't know how to do much around the house either!

The other thing I want to say about my grandparents is that they are amazing listeners. Whenever I stop by to say hello, they always turn off the TV and ask me how I am doing. As often as this happens I am always leaving their house so grateful for their attentiveness. They let me interupt their day and then they put their focus on what's important to me. They are genuinely interested in what's going on, they listen to what I have to say and always have a way of making my "big issues" seem less overwhelming. It's so good to have a family with a sense of humor.

The even cooler thing is that I know that their kindness is really an expression of God's love for me. I know what it looks like to care for people because of their beautiful example. I am the most blessed person I know!

Well, I gotta go... we are playing dominoes! :-)